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Talking with your child: secrets to helping them open up | Safe and Sound

Building a close relationship with their children is a desire of many parents, but getting children to truly open up isn't easy. Below are some tips shared by psychology experts at Safe and Sound that will help parents improve communication and encourage their children to share their deepest thoughts and feelings.

Ngo Thi Sang | Master of Educational Psychology – Applied to Safe and Sound Mental Health Care

Institute of Applied Medical Technology

1. Active listening

Image 1: Actively listening to your child

One of the most important factors in helping children open up is active listening from parents. Psychologists advise that when children speak, parents shouldn't just listen superficially, but should truly pay attention to the emotions and meaning behind their words. Avoid interrupting quickly, and create a safe environment so children feel comfortable sharing their feelings and thoughts.

Tip: Use eye contact and nods to show that you are paying attention and listening to your child. Also, let your child lead the conversation instead of you constantly offering opinions or advice.

2. Create a safe and trustworthy environment.

Psychologists say children won't open up if they don't feel emotionally safe. Creating a space where children feel accepted and loved, no matter what they share, is crucial. Avoid criticism or judgment when children share feelings and thoughts that worry you. This will help them feel more confident talking about personal issues.

Advice: Psychologists recommend that when children speak, parents should listen patiently without rushing to judgment or reacting harshly. This will help children feel heard and respected.

3. Ask thought-provoking questions.

Image 2: Asking thought-provoking questions for the child.

Instead of just asking general questions, parents should use open-ended questions to encourage their children to share more. Open-ended questions help children express their feelings and thoughts more deeply, and also allow you to better understand your child's feelings.

Advice: According to psychology experts, instead of asking "What was fun today?", ask "What was the most exciting thing about school today?" or "How do you feel about this event?"

4. Respect your child's thoughts and feelings.

Even if your child's opinions differ from yours, always respect their feelings and thoughts. Don't try to impose your own views or force them to think the way you want. Psychologists emphasize that this respect helps children feel that everything they say is valued and deserves to be heard.

Advice: Acknowledge your child's feelings and respond with empathy, such as, "I understand you're upset about that," instead of dismissing their feelings by saying, "You don't need to worry about that."

5. Avoid coercion and pressure.

Psychologists advise that when children are reluctant to share, parents should avoid forcing them to talk. Putting pressure on them will only make them more withdrawn and shy. Sometimes, children need time to think and feel safe before they are ready to share personal issues.

Advice: Parents should let the conversation unfold naturally and patiently. If the child is hesitant to talk, let them choose a suitable time to open up.

6. Become a companion.

Image 3: Becoming a companion for your child.

Psychologists advise parents to let their children know that they are always there, ready to support them through any difficulties. Instead of just being a boss, become a friend they can turn to whenever they need you. Support, understanding, and unconditional love will help children feel more secure when sharing their feelings.

Advice: According to psychology experts, show that you are willing to listen without judgment, and reassure your child that no problem is too small or unimportant to be heard and addressed.

7. Understand that every child is different.

Every child has their own personality and way of expressing emotions. Some children may open up easily, while others may need more time. Be patient and respect your child's emotional development pace; don't force them or compare them to others, as this will only put psychological pressure on them.

Advice: Psychologists suggest that if your child is introverted and doesn't share much, parents should spend time building trust through shared activities instead of demanding that the child talk more.

Helping children open up and share is a process that requires patience, listening, and respect from parents. By creating a safe environment and fostering understanding and empathy, parents can help their children feel more confident in sharing their feelings and thoughts. Through sincere conversations, the parent-child relationship will become stronger and more bonded.

With the collaboration of psychiatrists, psychologists , and the application of technology in mental health care, Safe and Sound counseling/consultation service proudly pioneers in supporting you with "Early self-detection - Immediate emotional first aid - Long-term support."

If you suspect you have a mental health problem, or would like more information about our counseling services, please contact our HOTLINE at 0964 778 911 (Phone/Zalo, 24/7) for prompt assistance and answers! 

HOW TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT for online or in-person consultation with a specialist.

Safe and Sound - part of the Institute of Applied Medical Technology (IMT)

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: Talking with your child: secrets to helping them open up | Safe and Sound